Ray Mears' campsite

Let me take you back to the Frankfurt campsite - a park with portaloos and 4 cold running showers in a hut. Full of nude, fat men. When I took myself off to the shower on match day I had to put myself in a cubicle surrounded by these chaps. As I was brushing my teeth, I started a conversation with the chap next to me - he DID have an Aston Villa tattoo.

I said, I bet when we leave this campsite, I will find out that there are wonderful womens' facilities 50 yards away, with steaming hot showers and a jacuzzi. 'Oh, love, there ARE womens' facilities in the administration tent. Go in there and you will find a vacuum cleaner and a cooker'.