Panic sets in

Pitifully unprepared for World Cup trip. So far I have:

• sleeping bag, borrowed off colleague
• tent, borrowed off a different colleage
• travel insurance

Before 6.00 am on Friday I must:

collect tranquilisers from chemist, buy toiletries, buy new wallchart, pack pens, find power adaptors, shave legs, paint toenails, find World Cup Willie headscarf, tell all my friends where I am going, empty intray at work, brief neighbours, calculate how many wetwipes required, purchase wetwipes, identify clothes that don't need ironing, pack, locate CDs to take that won't show me up, buy reading material.

Oh - and find accommodation in a country with no vacancies.

Anywhere...